When others speak to you and you are unable to respond, this bizarre phenomenon occurs. I discovered it's quite similar to the 5 Stages, only you're grieving the loss of your speech and entering the 5 Stages of Silence while sleeping silently at one of my physicians this week. Every time I reach out to someone new via my pledge, I go through each of these five phases. It doesn't only happen once at the start. It often occurs throughout subsequent interactions. Here's how it goes to check out:

Isolation and Denial

The initial response to not speaking is to attempt to behave as if nothing is occurring and ignore the situation's reality. People will question you, and you will be unable to react. Yes, people will say things that irritate you, and you will be speechless!

To be clear, the first few seconds of silence are the most difficult. I started sweating, my stomach began to gripe, and I felt compelled to flee the room at my first still networking event. So prepare yourself for this–denial it's at its finest. It does, however, get better. Continue reading.

Anger

As reality settles in, you realize you're powerless to say anything. I am not available for this, arises an emotional sensation. This ferocious feeling, I believe, stems from our weak core's fear that someone will discover us, and we won't be able to stand up for ourselves. This susceptibility manifests as rage. We knew we wanted to stay silent logically, but the fact that we decided to do so is still perplexing! I believe the best word to define this stage is frustration. Specifically:

People ask you how it's going after you show them a card stating that you're on a vow of silence. Bah!

You have some advise for a buddy who is going through a difficult time, but you are unable to express it. Bah!

You have a humorous joke to share with the group. Bah!

You're aching to correct someone who says anything negative about you. Bah!

Bargaining

You begin to hope that you will be able to find a method to express yourself at some time. Instead, you use body language and brow rays. You furiously point and gesticulate. You stamp your foot and make irritating noises. Nope, you still can't speak–and you're unlikely to be able to convey much. Listening and contemplation are the purposes of the Vow of Secrecy, not expression. That is a difficult pill to take, so we try to avoid it for as long as possible.